themeyerwire

Up until a few weeks ago, I could not remember the last time I had cried. I think it was sometime in elementary school, maybe 3rd grade. In high school, I discovered that I was physically unable to cry. I understand the unhealthy nature of my inability to cry and I can testify to it too, there were so many times in high school and even college when all I wanted to do was cry and I became so frustrated that I couldn’t.

A few weeks ago, that changed as I broke down and began sobbing, releasing streams of wonderful tears. It was after an amazingly emotional weekend, one that I’ve had friends describe as something that sounded like it was out of a horror movie. It was a terrible, wonderful weekend and I cried like a baby.

I’m not going to get into too many details as to the nature of the weekend (most of you who know me have already heard the details anyway). Let it be said that I was totally knocked off my feet by the intensity, confusion, and pain caused by the weekend. It was like the most intense roller coaster of my life.

At the end of the weekend, I started my devotions on Sunday before church, and I came across these devotionals by Oswald Chambers [1, 2]. As I read these devotionals, I broke down and began weeping. It was an amazing weeping though because I wept before God; I cried out to him my confession that I had not trusted him, I rejoiced in His wonder and majesty, and I beseeched him that I could just keep crying. And he answered my request as I sobbed, laying on the carpet. For a good half hour I cried, but I cried beautiful tears of release before God.