After reading numerous studies about the learning process of the brain and how learning things at younger ages is easier, I endeavored to spread myself as thin as possible and learn as many things as possible before I hit that theoretical wall of the learning curve. This led me to take on over 10 extra curricular activities while at the same time trying to balance the course load of the pre-International Baccalaureate Program (read more about the program at Wikipedia). Some of these activities included:

• Ballet lessons
• Jazz (dancing) lessons
• Guitar lessons
• Piano lessons
• Voice lessons (for singing)
• Musical theatre (I was in the Wekiva Riverplayers Anything Goes production)
• President of the Physics Club (despite my dismal grades in the subject)
• Varisty Lacrosse

And let us not forget my work (many jobs held simultaneously)

• Working at Old Navy on weekdays
• Working at Disney on Saturdays and Sundays
• Working at Field’s BMW on Saturday shortly after I went to seasonal status at Disney

Even going through this blog, I can see numerous instances where I overcommitted. For a history major, it seems like I have yet to learn from my mistakes…

Then again, perhaps I have learned some things. I have never held simultaneous jobs since my senior year of high school and I no longer take on ten extra-curricular (or nowadays, outside of work) activities, but I still have this strong proclivity to spread myself to thin.

Every quarter at work, we set goals for ourselves. I outdid myself this quarter. Despite the cautions of my mentor, I set my goals too high and now I suffer because of it. I’m the kind of person that never wants to compromise or cut back on my commitments, so dropping goals or failure is not an option (indeed to me they seem like similar things). We will see how it all turns out, but let this serve as milestone by which to remind myself to beware of overcommitment (but may God use it as an Ebenezer – “Thus far has the Lord helped us“).

In other news, this is my first viable post in over two years… will there be more to follow?

After missing the bus, I went back to my apartment and spent some time in my devotional books (C.H. Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening and Oswald Chamber’s My Utmost for His Highest). As I finished Spurgeon’s morning devotional, I thought about reading my Bible, but I only had about 5 minutes and did not feel that was sufficient to read a chapter. So instead, I lay down on the floor and prayed for the remaining time. I love relaxed prayer, and I especially enjoy praying lying down. It feels so good to lay down my body, my heart, and my thoughts before God and turn everything over to Him. It’s one of my favorite ways to start out my day, yet I so rarely do it.

As another result of my sleeping in, I had also missed my opportunity for breakfast. Thankfully, between my class and work I have about a 15-minute break, so I made my way over to Einstein’s Bagels to grab some breakfast. As I made my usual purchase of an everything bagel, toasted, with plain cream cheese ($2.11), I noticed that this morning they also had low fat chocolate milk (isn’t that an oxymoron?). After some deliberation, I decided that since I was feeling tired, the chocolate milk might be a good idea. Altogether, the meal cost $3.49, which really pleased me because it was not that expensive and because it meant I didn’t get a whole lot of change for my $4 (strange how that works, isn’t it?).

After obtaining my food, I made my way out to the front of the Hub and sat on a bench outside. As I quietly ate my breakfast, I noticed how beautiful it was yesterday morning: There were two birds fluttering in the grass in front of me and chirping; the temperature was about 80 degrees; and it was too early for it to be hot. As the light shone through the trees in front of me, I was overcome with a feeling of repose; it had been a beautiful morning, I had devotions and prayer earlier and now I had another moment alone with God. As I relaxed and ate my breakfast, I silently sang praises, relaxing my body, my heart, and my mind. Praise God for such a wonderful morning!

“I’m not dead yet…”

Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a large man carrying a dead body enters the scene]
Large Man: Here’s one.
Collector: That’ll be ninepence.
Dead Body: I’m not dead.
Collector: What?
Large Man: Nothing. There’s your ninepence.
Dead Body: I’m not dead.
Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
Large Man: Yes he is.
Dead Body: I’m not.
Collector: He isn’t.
Large Man: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
Dead Body: I’m getting better.
Large Man: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
Collector: Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
Dead Body: I don’t want to go on the cart.
Large Man: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
Collector: I can’t take him.
Dead Body: I feel fine.
Large Man: Oh, do me a favor.
Collector: I can’t.
Large Man: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
Collector: I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.
Large Man: Well, when’s your next round?
Collector: Thursday.
Dead Body: I think I’ll go for a walk.
Large Man: You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
Dead Body: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man: Ah, thank you very much.
Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man: Right.

I work in about the center of campus, inside the CSE building (next to the French Fries). If you’re not familiar with UF, you can find a map here. Tijuana Flats is located on University Avenue, about a quarter mile northwest of my office. As I made my way back from lunch, I realized that I had unconsciously developed a route that led me through the shaded parts of campus. I consider myself a systematic person, and this incident definitely fed into that self-image.

Recently, I have been overcome with a sense of wanderlust, I’m itching to get out and have an adventure. I tell my friends that I want to take a road trip to Zion National Park in Utah and I’m dead serious. Last summer my friend Greg and I went on a road trip starting in Orlando and making stops in Chattanooga, Knoxville, Lexington, Cincinnati, Lafayette, Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Baton Rouge, and New Orleans. We went all over the Midwest and then back again. It was amazing and I am yearning for another equally exciting adventure.

So far this summer I’ve traveled to Pensacola a few times and I’ve driven to Ruston, Louisiana (about 2 hours from the Texas border). On the last day of my trip I longed to hop in my car and head west instead of east. I have only been to Texas once before, and that was when I was a toddler. What’s Texas like? Where does I-20 stop? How big are the waves in Los Angeles? How long does it take to drive from San Diego to Seattle? My mouth salivates with the prospects.

Even as I write this, I feel an energy surge up inside of me: I want to travel. I want to travel big. I would love and devour the opportunity to outline the United States in my car one summer. To drive on I-10 or I-20 from Florida to California, then up the West Coast, through Canada, and then down the Eastern Seaboard to Florida. Some of my friends and I are talking about going to New York again this summer, and that sounds great, but I’m ready to do something new. I’m ready to go mountain biking in the Rockies, hang gliding in the Sierra Nevadas, or see a whale in Puget Sound. Maybe I could make an adventure out of our New York trip too. Maybe we could stop in Philadelphia, make our way to Boston, or see the CN Tower in Toronto… that’s an adventure.

At the same time that I’m filled with this wanderlust, it also has its limitations. While I’m ready to spread my wings and soar over the nation, I’m reluctant to travel long term. I’d love to go on an adventure, so long as I’m not away from the amenities of home too long. My friend Jodi is in England right now for 8 months. I was excited at the prospect of doing something like that too (going to China for a year or two), but then as I walked across campus today with my iPod, I realized how much I would miss things like my music, movies, friends, and the many other things I would have to leave behind. I’m ready for an adventure, so long as it doesn’t take me too far.

Actually, I can take most of that with me. Screw it, I’m going. I’m going where God wants me.

A few weeks ago, that changed as I broke down and began sobbing, releasing streams of wonderful tears. It was after an amazingly emotional weekend, one that I’ve had friends describe as something that sounded like it was out of a horror movie. It was a terrible, wonderful weekend and I cried like a baby.

I’m not going to get into too many details as to the nature of the weekend (most of you who know me have already heard the details anyway). Let it be said that I was totally knocked off my feet by the intensity, confusion, and pain caused by the weekend. It was like the most intense roller coaster of my life.

At the end of the weekend, I started my devotions on Sunday before church, and I came across these devotionals by Oswald Chambers [1, 2]. As I read these devotionals, I broke down and began weeping. It was an amazing weeping though because I wept before God; I cried out to him my confession that I had not trusted him, I rejoiced in His wonder and majesty, and I beseeched him that I could just keep crying. And he answered my request as I sobbed, laying on the carpet. For a good half hour I cried, but I cried beautiful tears of release before God.

The first incident occurred a couple of weeks ago as I was waiting for the bus. As I was waiting, I noticed a worm wriggling across the cement sidewalk. Afraid that someone would step on the worm or that it would fry as it was intensely hot outside, I moved the worm to some nearby bushes using a leaf. No sooner had the worm fallen onto the grass than a lizard lurched forth from the bushes, grabbed the worm, and ate it in front of me. I found this mildly humorous as I had never seen a lizard eat a worm before; he ate it kind of like a snake eats its pray. In the very action that I had attempted to save the worm, I had actually led it to its imminent death.

The second incident occurred a few days after the first as I was mopping my apartment. After mopping, I took the hot, Pine-Sol laden water outside to dump it in our apartment’s rock courtyard wasteland. Previously, I had thought the wasteland uninhabitable as it often floods and is overflowing with cigarette butts and other random trash (which after the flooding, often finds its way to our doorstep). As I dumped the water into the rocks, a horde of insects, cockroaches, and worms began to emerge, writhing in the contaminated water. In two acts that I had thought harmless, I had actually caused the death of numerous worms.

In another note, I have wanted to plant a tree in our courtyard to help with the flooding problem. Plants in the area would help soak up the water and hopefully eliminate the accumulation of filth outside of our doorstep. After dumping the mop water in the courtyard, the abundance of worms and insects informed me that the soil underneath is extremely fertile, and thus hospitable to the possibility of future plant life: this makes me happy.

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